How To Fix A Screw Up Marriage
By Dr. James. A McBean D.Th., MCC
Copyright © 2008 Library of Congress
Washington.D.C.20559
M y friends and I did a research into how marriages are broken, and found out that the things that broken up marriages are falling under some twenty heading. From power struggles, interferences of family and friends, sexual incompatibility, conflicting sexual preferences, money trouble, fear of somebody looking at he or she spouses are whom the spouse looking at ( look phobias ) and A controlling spirit, or controlling attitude.
The list goes on. For example, we believe that if the couple did sit down and have a talk about these things prior to moving in, it would make them aware of the problems and prepare to deal with it, in most cases the problem might never even arises. Lazy spouses who hear a teaching on laziness before moving in together might get up and go to work.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCES IS GOOD HOWEVER, DO NOT GO ALL THE WAY.
A person can have a great looking body, but the outside appearances do not tell you if the person has a sexual transmitted disease. The person could have a great looking body, while having a police record long from here to Germany, which drown their chance of ever landing a job. A person could have some great looking physical appearances, while is a child molester, a murder, a woman beater, gamblers addicted and drugs addicted. You should not move in with nor fall head over heal in love with somebody base on the person looks alone.
OKAY!! I MADE MY MISTAKE, I AM IN A PUDDLE HERE, HOW DO I FIX IT?
(1) TRY TO IDENTIFY THE MAIN PROBLEM YOU ARE HAVING WITH THIS PERSON.
Is it a money problem!! You alone paying the bills while your spouse sits around and play dominos all day? Is it a name-calling problem, a sex problem? Try to identify the problem. If you do not know what is making the problems you will not be able to fix it.
(2) TRY TO IDENTIFY THE TROUBLE MAKER.
Is it you or your spouse making the problem? Is it a sister-in-law, a brother-in-law or a friend?
(3) IS THE PROBLEM PHYSICAL OR EMOTIONAL?
You will need to know where the problem originates. If it is an emotional problem, it’s could be coming from as far back as childhood. Some people prior to moving in, they did not talk about childhood experiences. Some people were raped as a child, by their father, cousin, brother, uncle and sometime mother’s boy friends. The experience could make the person scared of sex in adulthood, or cause the person to suppress is seen that urges as sin, dirty and nasty. This will have a dramatic effect on their ability to have a sex life in adulthood.
IS YOUR MATE MAD AT YOU?
You will need to ask your mate, why are you angry with me all the time? What have I done offending you? In what way am I preventing you from going ahead in life? Do I compel you to live with me since you are not pleased with me? These series of questioning will force the person into a defensive mood in the which he or she will have to come up with an answer, or run the risk of looking malicious, evil and stupid, for being angry all the time without solid reasons.
GIVE THE PERSON AN ULTIMATUM.
I am giving you three months to go and get counsels, and get your life in order and on course. If you to improve the conditions do nothing, I am filing for divorce. In addition, not only that, but sue you for emotional damage that I suffer being with you.
USING YOU AS EMOTIONAL PUNCHING BAGS.
Person has grudge problems, which lead them down the path to aggressions. This causes them to feel upset all the time. When this happens, they look for a person to take out that aggression on. It could be somebody on the job that they are picking on; by beating upon that person it makes them feel better. You have to stop them. They will never stop on their own.
SOONER AR LATER YOU ARE GOING TO SNAP.
When you snap, he she is going to get hurt and you spent years in prison. You have to fix the problem before it reaches the point of an explosion. Some men came to women for parenting . you have to make people know that you will not be their parent and lover at the same time. You will have to be careful of people who did not grew up with a father figure, and make sure you screen them well before moving in. I am not saying that a person is bad because they never know their father, but if he did, grew up with a father figure it could help a lot.
WHAT SAITH THE SCRIPTURES?
Amos 3:3 (KJV) Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
DEEP IN DUNG STREET.
People get themselves mix up in Dung Street because they do not know to seek God guidance before we go out and get ourselves in crocodile nests.
Proverbs 3:5-7 (KJV) Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. [6] In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. [7] Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.
Sometime Only Jesus Can Help Us
Acts 4:12 (KJV)Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
Romans 5:6 (KJV) For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. Romans 5:7 (KJV) For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. Romans 5:8 (KJV) But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:9 (KJV) Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. Romans 5:10 (KJV) For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. Romans 5:11 (KJV) And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement.
Matthew 6:33-AV But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Isaiah 55:6-AV Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Isaiah 55:7-AV Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
The Bearer's Of The "Mind Sword"
