"MARRIAGES THAT SURVIVETHE STORMS"
"Compliment To National Geographic"
Copyright © 2008 by J.A.Mcbean. Library of Congress Washington.D.C.20559
T he problems that make marriages fail consist of about nineteen things. Some of the things that turn a good marriage sour are; power struggles, the interferences of families and friends, money trouble, rumors, and poor communicational skills. However, these issues can be prevented before a couple exchanges wedding vows by means of attending premarital counseling. Christians and Jews have long for their similarities toward spousal relationships. Christians and Jews are called "the people of the book" .
For countless generations, we the people of the book, have been turning its pages, and asking. What time is it? Where are we on the calendar of the ages? In this dispensation, what does the book have to say about my conducts and my attitudes toward my spouse? How does God speak to me in this generation through the written word? Can the Bible show me how to salvage my marriage? Some marriages don’t make it to the fourth of July. Do you think that all those people who got married each year and end up in the divorce courts did not love each other? They did love each other, in fact, they would not get pass the engagement party if they did not have some kind of feelings for each other.
Our feelings are like a spider's web, we cannot trust feeling. Originally, God's people view of marriage was not based on feeling of love. We saw Abraham send his servant to go seek a wife for his son Isaac. Isaac never saw the woman before to fall in love with her. It was all about blood line, family upbringing, and the will of God. Marriage today is like a joke, we can dial a bride or a husband from The Union Of Soviet Republic or from India.
THE CHRISTIANS WORLD VIEW OF MARRIAGE:
The Christians’ world view of marriage in the negative. In an "arranged marriage" , it is the Parents who come together and decide who should marry their child. In some cultures, the woman are auctioned off in exchange for cattle, such as two pigs, or cows. In Microsoft Enchanter, it is written that an "Arranged Marriage, custom of families choosing marriage partners for their members, sometimes in advance of marriageable age." "Historically parents have played a major role in choosing marriage partners for their children, and the custom continues in the world’s developing countries today. Parental influence is greatest when the parents have a large stake in whom their child marries. Traditionally, marriage has been regarded as an alliance between two families, rather than just between the two individuals." © 1993-2003 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
SAME SEX MARRIAGE:
The Christians world view of marriage. In the negative: Same sex marriage involves individuals on the same gender becoming joined legally as a union. . The Christians view of this is negative. "Although same-sex marriages are not legally recognized in most of the United States, many gay couples choose to hold weddings. In 2004 Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same-sex marriages" © 1993-2003 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
POLYGAMY:
Some Ethiopians Christians believe in polygamy. However, polygamy has always been seen by Christians in the negative. Polygamy, form of marriage in which a person has more than one mate. The practice of polygamy includes polyandry, or marriage with more than one husband, as well as polygamy, the specific term for marriage with more than one wife.
CIVIL MARRIAGE:
Civil marriage is practice by people who do not want an ecclesiastical marriage. They go to the Court House or a justice of the peace and exchange vows, signs their documentation, and went home. This form of marriage is good, but is seen in the negative by Christians.
CHRISTIANS WORLD VIEW OF MARRIAGE IN THE POSITIVE:
Christians believe in one wife for one man. One woman and one man, a covenant that continue from here to eternity. This is what we believe in on paper. However, this is not what happens all of the time due to the presence of evil. Christians are now getting married and divorced just like the people of the world.
HOW I INTENDED TO CHAMPION THE CAUSE OF MARRIAGE:
No matter how desperate the marital situation is, the marriage can be saved. In fact, I now believe that if a husband and wife are going by the principles laid down in the scriptures, they might not even have an argument, furthermore even a fight, separation, and divorce.
2 Chron. 10:6 (KJV) And king Rehoboam took counsel with the old men that had stood before Solomon his father while he yet lived, saying, What counsel give ye me to return answer to this people? 2 Chron. 10:7 (KJV) And they spake unto him, saying, If thou be kind to this people, and please them, and speak good words to them, they will be thy servants for ever.
If a husband and wife were kind toward each other, please each other, and speak kind words toward each other then verbal and physical conflicts would be nil. This principle can work in church, school; marriage, on the job; and in every sector in society.
Proverbs 15:1 (KJV) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
To championing the cause of marriage. The husband and wife must build, and concrete their relationship; before children begin to be born to the relationship. If the children came and find conflicts going on they will immediately take side with one of the parents, and the family is divided from that point on.
If a husband and wife were kind toward each other, please each other, and speak kind words toward each other then verbal and physical conflicts would be nil. This principle can work in church, school; marriage, on the job; and in every sector in society.
Proverbs 15:1 (KJV) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
To championing the cause of marriage. The husband and wife must build, and concrete their relationship; before children begin to be born to the relationship. If the children came and find conflicts going on they will immediately take side with one of the parents, and the family is divided from that point on.
To championing the cause of marriage. The husband and wife must build, and concrete their relationship; before children begin to be born to the relationship. If the children came and find conflicts going on they will immediately take side with one of the parents, and the family is divided from that point on.
"GIVING THE MARRIAGE A FOUNDATION"
Amos 3:3 (KJV) Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
If a couple are deeply in love, but one or both of them is sarcastic, cynical, and use putdown, lets see how long the marriage continue. Lets see how long love continue, when the couple cultivate negative attitudes, verbal abusive, money problems, and the interferences of family and friends. Lets see how long love last, when one of the couple is impotent, and falls back into denial, and refuses to seek medical help, let see how long love last. When the couple use retaliation, demanding, and refuse to care about the other person's feelings, the marriage will not survive the storms.
HAVING A PLAN IN PLACE:
The couple must have a game plan before they got married. The game plan should cover things like how to deal with rumors, trust issues, and money problems. How do we communicate in conflicts? What about conflicting love language? Who is the head in the relationship? Who will have emergency power in the relationship? If these things are not covered before hand, the husband and wife can be deadlock on a subject for days. Things that need immediate decision, is left to rotten in the sun of indecision. Money problems and power struggles can be solve before the marriage.
"SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP"
Even Kings and Queen have people who give them counseling. If you are a Christian, get the service of Christians counselors. Even if you pray until your knees wear out, you still have to get counseling or pay the price in a divorce court. Do not bother to ask God to fix a problem if he already provide the remedy for that problem in his word. God just do not take pleasure in dealing with fools. We should not ask God to fix a problem, if he already provide the information in the scriptures how we can fix it. The new generation of Christians today want a word of prophecy. They want a word to be spoken over them. While rejecting the principle laid down in the scriptures.
Psalm 32:9 (KJV) Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.
"LOVE ALONE CANNOT HIDE A MARRIAGE FROM THE STORMS"
Any body that thinks that being in love is all it take to keep the engines of marriage running will wake up to a sad reality. The marriage has to have a foundation, that is not based on the feeling of love. Love does not fix bad habits. Being a Christians will not fix it either. Giving each other a lot of attention will not fix the problem either. It is like calling your mortgage company and told them you are going to be late on the mortgage payment. That is good, but you still have to make that payment along with the late fees. The marriage is not going to survive on a shot of love alone. There have to be forgiveness. There have to be knowledge of how to communicate in conflicts. There must be lot of sex going on in the bed room. The interference of family and friends must be nil. In addition, the couple must have some good old fashion praying and Bible reading together. Reading the Bible is not going to help if we are not willing to conduct our lives by its principles.
"HAVING A SEX PROBLEM IN THE MARRIAGE"
1 Cor. 7:1-5 (KJV) Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. [2] Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. [3] Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. [4] The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. [5] Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
CONCLUSION:
Many Christians do not want to hear the word sex. However, most of the Christians I have spoken to, who dump their faith, dump their faith after getting married. Their main complaint is a sex problem. However, the scriptures show us how to fix such problems. "Championing the cause of marriage," is supposed to be the mission of all Christians, preachers, and teachers. Marriage and family is the foundation of the church. The foundation of society, and the foundation of the world. Every time a marriage goes down in divorce, the entire community is at stake. It is not only the couple and their family that are hurting. When a couple is divorce. Because of the shame, they both leave the church. The friends of the couple sometime leave also, it cause a chain or reaction. Sometime the couple blame their troubles, on that local church community. Other married couples get scared, and leave. When a church community dies, it dies suddenly. The pastor financial support is also compromised greatly. With good pre-marital council, a couple will never fall into marital problem.
CHILDREN DILEMMA:
We talked about the husband and wife, but most of the time, there are children involved. In the book. "Family first" By Dr. Phil McGraw. Free Press. New York London Toronto Sydney. Page 5. "Trying to understand a child's behavior without interviewing the rest of the family just won't cut it, and any therapist worth their salt known it." The progress of the children are influence by the relationship of parents. On page 139. "One of the most important and exciting decisions you can make as a parent is to define success goals for your child. Success goals are tools that serve as guidance systems for parents and their children. Once you decide on the goals that will serve as the measure of your child's success, those goals will help you make decisions throughout the child's trip to adulthood." Yes! The children do not need to be failures, and the marriage do not need to be failures either as long as you base your life on the word of God.
Dennis Rainey in his book. "Building Strong Families" Crossway Books. Wheaton. Illinois. Page 142. "I urge you dads to touch your boys, hug your boys, hold your boys, sit them on your lap, squeeze them. Wrestle with them.." It is good to be macho, as a man, but it is also good to learn to cry. The word of the poet has rightly expressed this of Hector's wife. "Home they brought her warrior dead. She neither sworn nor uttered a cry. All her maids watch said, she must weep or she will die"
Bibliography:
Dr. McGraw Phil "Family first" . Free Press. New York London Toronto Sydney.
Microsoft Enchanter 1993-2003 Microsoft Corporation.
Rainey Dennis. "Building Strong Families" Crossway Books. Wheaton. Illinois
Rainey Dennis. "Building Strong Families" Crossway Books. Wheaton. Illinois
SOMETIME ONLY JESUS CAN HELP US:
Matthew 6:33-AV But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Isaiah 55:6-AV Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Isaiah 55:7-AV Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
LOOK AT THE BENEFITS OF BECOMING A CHRISTIAN:
How does a person become a Christian, and are sure that he/she is save? First the person must know that he/she is a sinner and need deliverance from the lord.
Romans 3:23 (KJV) for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Galatians 3:22 (KJV) But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A GOD:
Hebrews 11:6 NKJV But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT GOD IS READY TO FORGIVE HIM:
Isaiah 55:7 (KJV)Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT CHRIST DIED FOR HIM:
Romans 5:6 (KJV) For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
Romans 5:8 (KJV)But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
1 Cor. 15:3-8 (KJV) For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; [4] And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: [5] And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve: [6] After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep. [7] After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles. [8] And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.
MUST BELIEVE THAT GOD CAN KEEP HIM:
Ephes. 3:20 (KJV) Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Jude 1:24 (KJV) Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
PERFECTING THE SAINTS IS A WORK OF GOD:
1 Peter 5:10 (KJV) But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you.
THE SINNER MUST KNOW THAT ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE THEM:
Acts 4:12 (KJV) Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
THE SINNER MUST MAKE A DECISION TODAY:
Isaiah 1:18 (KJV) Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
2 Cor. 6:2 (KJV) (For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)
BOW YOUR HEAD AND PRAY THIS PRAYER:
Lord I am a sinner and need your salvation. Forgive all my sins. I accept your son Jesus as my savior today.
We can sing with the song writer" I rise walk in heaven’s own light above the world and sin with heart made pure and garments white, and Christ en-throned with in. The cleansing stream I see I see I plunge, and O It cleans-eth me. O praise the Lord, it cleans-eth me, it cleans-eth me yes, cleans-eth me."
DROP ALL PRE-CONCEIVE IDEAS OF CHRISTIANITY:
Drop all preconceived ideas of Christianity because these conflict with the reality of Christianity. The lord will live the life through you day by day. You do not drop things from your life on your own. The spirit of God will walk you out of sins in his own time.
FIRST HUMBLING YOU:
Ephes. 2:8-9 (KJV)For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: [9] Not of works, lest any man should boast.
If you stop sins and get holy before God’s timing you will begin to boast how it is your own magnetism got you so far, then you became a source of discouragement to others. Therefore, you are going to stuck upon a sin or two. The sin always getting the better of you. This will push you to always accept God’s grace, and to see your own frailness.
1 John 1:8 (KJV) If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
TO CONTINUE GROWING IN GOD:
1 Peter 2:2 (KJV) As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
2 Peter 1:5-10 (NKJV) But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. 10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble.
FINDING OUT YOUR CALLING:
When I was newly save, the believers always, ask me if I know the will of God for my life! I never really know what they were talking about. Every person that was saved had a mission and a gift. However, because you are just a babe in Christ you do not know any of these. As you go on with the lord his will for you will unfolds day bay day. Do not run off and make any big commitment. Your mate has to be tailor made for you by God. You are now a citizen of heaven. Heaven does not rule by democracy. You cannot serve God with democratic mind set.
WHAT YOU MUST DROP OFF:
Hebrews 12:1 (Living Bible) Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.
Ephes. 4:31 (Living Bible) Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives.
Col. 3:8 (Living Bible) but now is the time to cast off and throw away all these rotten garments of anger, hatred, cursing, and dirty language.
GET A GOOD BIBLE, AND FIND A GOOD CHURCH:
One of the best Bibles out there is the New King James Version. Dake’s annotated Bible is very good. Next, you need a living bible to make some thing simple.
Hebrews 10:25 (Living Bible) Let us not neglect our church meetings, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near.
PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM BEING SPOILED BY MAN:
Col. 2:8 (KJV)Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
Hebrews 13:9 (KJV) Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein.
Seven Ways that People Can Spoil Christians:
1. Through philosophy (Col. 2:8)
2. Through vain deceit (Col. 2:4,8,18-19)
3. Through human traditions (Col. 2:8)
4. Through human religion and world principles contrary to the gospel (Col. 2:8,14-23; note, §Galatians 4:3)
5. Through circumcision (Col. 2:11-13; Acts 15:1; Romans 4:9-16; Galatians 5:1-11)
6. Through the law of Moses, demanding observance of the laws on meats, drinks, holy days, new moons, feasts, and sabbaths (Col. 2:14-17)
7. Through cults that puff up and imitate the gospel (Col. 2:18-23)
By all these means, unsuspecting souls are being carried off as plunder and booty by false teachers. The founders of false religions and human philosophies which pamper the flesh and give their victims elated feelings of importance make an appeal to them.
Christianity is loaded down with some false concept. Some little believe system, which are spread by false believers. One of such teaching is that you must “Look like Christians” How does Christians look? Genuine Christianity is not an external thing but of the heart and spirit.
Micah 6:8 (KJV)He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?
When cults capture a newly converted Christians, the cult first job on that new believer is to close their mind. Preventing the new believer from reading any material from other churches. So that new believer will never get out of their trap.
YOUR HORMONE DOES NOT STOP WORKING WITH CHRISTIANITY:
Philip. 3:20-21 (KJV)For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ: [21] Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself.
Romans 8:23 (KJV) And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
Our bodies were not save at conversion. The work of redemption took place in your spirit man. Our body will be redeemed at the return of our lord. We are still waiting for the redemption of our body.
According to Philip 3:20-21 and Romans 8:23. You are still going to have urges. You have to present your body to the lord as a living sacrifice. Not dead one. Living sacrifice give trouble, you will have trouble keeping that body tied to the altar. However, as you and I grow in the lord what seem impossible will be quite possible.
Come back for update soon.
Bearer Of The Mind Sword.
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