I n every relationship, one of the two is always the one to enunciate sex. We call this one the main aggressor in the relationship. Sometime the aggressiveness, cause the other mate to think that his or her mate is sold out to sex. Therefore, he or she begin to use it as a tool of manipulation. On the other hand, to control the other. Therefore, their refusal is on purpose. Since it is now being use on purpose, as a tool how does one deal with it?

If you suspected that, the person lack of urges could be from physical or emotional causes, try getting them help. However, if the person is behaving like that on purpose because there are animosity. This is clear evidence that the person do not want the relationship any more. !

HOW TO TURN THE TABLE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

People will never stop their behaviors if they think it is working in their favor. They will only stop when that behavior bounces back and begin to hurt them in the process.

If you suspected that, your mate is refusing you on purpose, and is using that to control you. Let he or she know that you are available when he or she is ready. Then stop making advance to them. If a person give you the indication that they want to be left alone. They do not want to be bothered, do not bother them, and leave them alone. Above all, stop getting into a verbal fight and start planning your leaving, if no changes are seen in sight. In most cases the mate find somebody better, and just taking you along for the ride. Where does he or she getting their needs met? Where women are concern they might not have another man, it could be another woman telling her what to do.

A JAMAICAN WOMAN MISTAKE.

She told me that her husband was being bad, and he stops having intercourse with him for three months. I advise her to quit that behavior. She was only ruining her marriage. Two weeks later, she returns to my office. She caught the man in the basement of their home on top of a black America woman. Then she continue to say “ If Yu si how him a ga-lang inner her” = If you see how he is performing on top of her. In my heart I say, “What did you expect? I told you to behave”

ANOTHER WOMAN MAKES THE SAME MISTAKE.

This was a Christian woman. She told me that she stop sleeping with the husband. I told her to stop that behavior, she did not listen. The man catches on and stops going to her completely. Now six months later she is now complaining that the man stop coming to her completely. “It seem like he find another woman” The two women marriage has completely broken one end in divorce.

PEOPLE NEED TO GROW UP.

We must find positive ways of dealing with problems within the relationship. Once we set negative thing into motions, it causes a domino effect and triggers off a lots of negative reaction.

1 Cor. 7:1-5 (NASB-U) Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. [2] But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. [3] The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. [4] The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. [5] Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

A Christian wife can hold out an her husband for six months defrauding him with ease, some can go on even longer. Some Christians husband leave the church in the process and some became Muslim where they can have four wives to choose from and still belong to a community.

We made mistakes because we start our lives wrong.

Long before you were born, before you were conceived in your mother’s womb, even before your parents meet. God know you and wrote your name in his book. In that same time, God also sent his son Jesus to die for your sins. If you accept this same Jesus as your savor and continue with him, you shall never be defeated. Your life will never be the same. Make the decision for Jesus today, join the million of saints who answer this calling and went on to victors living. Your birth was not an accident. You are not a freak of nature. You are not bad lucky, it is God that has his hand on you, calling you to come to him

YOU MUST COME AND TASTE.

Psalm 34:8 (NASB-U)O taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!

Isaiah 7:11 (ASV)Ask thee a sign of Jehovah thy God; ask it either in the depth, or in the height above. Isaiah 7:12 (ASV) But Ahaz said, I will not ask, neither will I tempt Jehovah.

Romans 3:23 (KJV)For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Then you must know that God sent his son Jesus to die for your sins.

CHRIST DIED FOR US.

Romans 5:6 (KJV)For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. Romans 5:7 (KJV)For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. Romans 5:8 (KJV)But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 1 Tim. 2:5-6 (KJV)For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; [6] Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.

YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU CANNOT SAVE YOURSELF.

Ephes. 2:8 (ASV)for by grace have ye been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; Ephes. 2:9 (ASV)not of works, that no man should glory. 2 Peter 3:18 (ASV)But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and for ever. Amen.

YOU MUST BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A GOD.

Hebrews 11:6 (KJV) But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Rom 10:9 If you declare that Jesus is Lord, and believe that God brought him back to life, you will be saved. Rom 10:10 By believing you receive God's approval, and by declaring your faith you are saved.

YOU MUST CALL TO GOD.

Romans 10:13 (KJV) For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Jeremiah 33:3 (KJV) Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

YOU MUST LOOK TO GOD.

Isaiah 45:22 (KJV) Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else.

Ephes. 1:13 (KJV) In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,

NO OTHER PERSON CAN SAVE YOU.

Acts 4:12 (KJV) Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE YOU.

Philip. 2:6-10 (KJV) Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: [7] But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: [8] And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. [9] Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: [10] That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;

YOU MUST KNOW THAT GOD INVITES YOU TO COME.

Isaiah 1:18 (KJV)Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Rev. 22:17 (KJV)And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.

GOD INVITES YOU TO CALL TO HIM

Acts 2:21 (KJV)And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Romans 10:13 (KJV)For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Ezekiel 33:11 (KJV) Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?

Now bow your head and pray this prayer.

Dear God, our heavenly father, I am a sinner and need to be save, would you save me this moment from all my sin? Save me now, because your son Jesus had died for my sin. Thank you for saving me and give me peace, in Jesus name.

From this day on ward you will begin to feel a flood of joy and peace full your heart and mind. You must confess Jesus to others with your mouth. Tell what great thing the lord had done for you. Romans 10:9 (Living) For if you tell others with your own mouth that Jesus Christ is your Lord and believe in your own heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Then you need to start reading the bible, start reading from St Matthew.

1 Peter 2:2 (Living) Now that you realize how kind the Lord has been to you, put away all evil, deception, envy, and fraud. Long to grow up into the fullness of your salvation; cry for this as a baby cries for his milk. 1 Tim. 4:13 (KJV) Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine.

THE LORD WILL MAKE YOU HOLY IN HIS OWN TIME.

1 Peter 5:10 (KJV) But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you.

OUR BODY WAS NOT REDEEM AT CONVERSION.

Romans 8:23 (GW) However, not only creation groans. We, who have the Spirit as the first of God's gifts, also groan inwardly. We groan as we eagerly wait for our adoption, the freeing of our bodies {from sin}.

Rom 8:21 that the creation itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the liberty of the glory of the children of God. Rom 8:22 For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. Rom 8:23 And not only so, but ourselves also, who have the first-fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for our adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.

OUR VILE BODY WILL BE CHANGE AT THE RETURN OF JESUS.

Philip. 3:20 (KJV) For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ: Philip. 3:21 (KJV) Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself.

HOW TO CONTINUE IN THE FAITH.

Hosea 6:3 Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord: his going forth is prepared as the morning; and he shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth.

The first thing you will need to know is this. Beware of people who come laying hands on you say they are filling you with the Holy Ghost. That is how people get possess with demonic spirits. God will give you every thing you need to fit you out for his service in his own times. You do not need to push any thing nor to make any thing happen. Wait until God make it happen. Do not get too carry away into this charismatic stuff, I spent almost forty years in it, all those who try to fake it or pushed it got hurt.

You will need to read the book “War on the saints” By Jessie Penn-Lewis. The Christians literature Crusade, fort Washington, Pennsylvania 19034 U.S.A. ISBN 0-87508-958-4. Get this book before you start messing with Charismatic.

A NEW MIND-SET.

After the lord save a person there are some things that the person must do on their own. All the work is not just up to Jesus. You must developed a different mind set, from the one you have before you were converted. Not a holier that thou mind set but a new mind.

Eph 4:22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; Eph 4:23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; Eph 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Eph 4:25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.

GIVE YOURSELF AWAY TO THE THINGS OF GOD.

1Ti 4:13 Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. 1Ti 4:14 Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by prophecy, with the laying on of the hands of the presbytery. 1Ti 4:15 Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all. 1Ti 4:16 Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.

Jer 29:13 The Message Bible. "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else,

A window is opened, a bird eye view is given, a voice is heard, a man is enlightened a soul is saved.

Bearer Of The Mind Sword.

The author of this article.

Rev. James McBean. Sr

Was born in Jamaica west Indies. Bachelor In Theology. Masters in Christians counseling.

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